Trying to Trick a Demon【FLASH FICTION】
It's been years and I've just realized I'm an idiot.
Now, there's a difference between being an idiot and being stupid.
I just happen to be both.
It was stupid of me to try and trick a demon into giving me immortality. It worked, and for a while it was great. Then the demon realized and cursed me so that every door is essentially a portal to who knows where. It really sucks cause I just want to get home, but that's not the only issue. Sometimes, I'll find the door I walk out of turns out to be the exit of a grocery store or restaurant after days of not eating anything. I just turn around and I'm taunted with a delicious plate of spaghetti! Man, I love that stuff. I will say though, that phrase "you don't know what you have until it's gone" really rings true. Though it's even worse for me cause nothing's actually gone, just slightly out of reach!
And then I realized something. Not that I'm an idiot but this is what led to that.
An air vent or broken window aren't actually doors. This curse became my greatest tool. As much as I hate crime I had no choice. If the above situation were to happen, I could just bust in, take what I need, and hop through the door on my way out! I'm sure it confuses the heck out of people and probably looks hilarious but you gotta do what you gotta do eh?
Anyway. So you know how I mentioned that crime is what made me an idiot? I just realized that I could literally get home that way. Just walk through a few doors and eventually I'll be close enough to where I can walk to my house right? I'm glad I've finally learned this but god I am such an idiot for not realizing this sooner. Now I've got a huge criminal record on my back so even when I get home I won't have peace! Jeez. Y'know this has really made immortality a pain.
Anyhoo thanks for stopping your current tv program or whatever to listen to my birdbrain talk. Hope this message gets out to whoever is thinking about immortality or whatever. I'm gonna just step out now and get myself back to my own bed, so seeyah.
Oh and one more thing. Demon if you're watching this news report for some reason; I've screwed the system you son of a gun and I hope you feel just as dumb as I do.
Now, there's a difference between being an idiot and being stupid.
I just happen to be both.
It was stupid of me to try and trick a demon into giving me immortality. It worked, and for a while it was great. Then the demon realized and cursed me so that every door is essentially a portal to who knows where. It really sucks cause I just want to get home, but that's not the only issue. Sometimes, I'll find the door I walk out of turns out to be the exit of a grocery store or restaurant after days of not eating anything. I just turn around and I'm taunted with a delicious plate of spaghetti! Man, I love that stuff. I will say though, that phrase "you don't know what you have until it's gone" really rings true. Though it's even worse for me cause nothing's actually gone, just slightly out of reach!
And then I realized something. Not that I'm an idiot but this is what led to that.
An air vent or broken window aren't actually doors. This curse became my greatest tool. As much as I hate crime I had no choice. If the above situation were to happen, I could just bust in, take what I need, and hop through the door on my way out! I'm sure it confuses the heck out of people and probably looks hilarious but you gotta do what you gotta do eh?
Anyway. So you know how I mentioned that crime is what made me an idiot? I just realized that I could literally get home that way. Just walk through a few doors and eventually I'll be close enough to where I can walk to my house right? I'm glad I've finally learned this but god I am such an idiot for not realizing this sooner. Now I've got a huge criminal record on my back so even when I get home I won't have peace! Jeez. Y'know this has really made immortality a pain.
Anyhoo thanks for stopping your current tv program or whatever to listen to my birdbrain talk. Hope this message gets out to whoever is thinking about immortality or whatever. I'm gonna just step out now and get myself back to my own bed, so seeyah.
Oh and one more thing. Demon if you're watching this news report for some reason; I've screwed the system you son of a gun and I hope you feel just as dumb as I do.
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